You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or child psychology whiz to figure these things out. Simply put, you just need to be a mom… or a dad in this case. A couple of days ago I stumbled upon a hilarious chart in social media on What Toddlers Want, as related by Dad and Buried.
Here’s my ten best picks from that list, added with some spice and flavor.
1. Mommy
This one’s too obvious. It’s almost every toddler’s top pick. It’s also every mother’s dream (to be wanted by their child). And, it’s also every babysitter’s nightmare (“you’re not my mom… where’s my mom… WHERE. IS. MY. MOM?!!!” - spoken in a cry-scream language).
2. To NOT go to sleep
I did say Mommy was “almost” every toddler’s top pick. This is the reason why some parents have messed-up body clocks. For them, there are only two timezones: baby asleep or baby awake. Unfortunately, the latter one appears to be more prominent in this stage. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
P.S. stop googling “safe non-habit forming tranquilizers for babies”
3. Things they can’t have
That coffee mom’s enjoying, dad’s colorful looking Big Mac Burger for lunch, grandma’s blonde hair, or perhaps to cuddle with the family cat while sleeping. Perfect no-brainers for parents, except that for a toddler, “no” is relative.
4. To watch Frozen
Trust me, let it go.
5. THAT THING OVER THERE GET IT FOR ME SLAVE!
We all have our stories of how our child displays, um… extraordinary leadership and unprecedented determination. This is one of the reasons why sometimes I buy stuff for them and rarely take them to the mall - specifically the food and kids section. Now if we’re in the park and all of a sudden he wants that squirrel up there…
6. Dessert
They’re colorful, shiny, smells good and… fun to play with! Plus they can end up in your child’s mouth without the worries. Who doesn’t want them?
Different story when it’s 10 in the evening.
7. Expensive things
Wanting a tablet, phone or laptop always has a solution. Get them a toddler version that resembles the real thing. But what about grandpa’s antique vases? Or his dad’s legendary robot collection from the 80s and 90s? And from the look in their faces, you know they want the real thing and can’t be fooled with imitations.
8. Things that don’t even exist
Perhaps they do in cartoons and movies (Olaf the Snowman is my 3 year old’s obsession - clearly too much Frozen again). Unless they demand the real thing, a toy version often solves this. But what about the stuff they say that you don’t have a clue in this known universe?…
9. I have no idea what she just said but she REALLY wants it
…And the stuff she says that you don’t even understand? I give the child credit for passion though. But none for giving me an infinite number of possibilities on what he really wants. Plus we have no time to wait for her to develop better pronunciation skills..
10. Daddy
Maybe there’s a bias to this, maybe not. Unless dads spend an awful lot of time with their baby and establish a connection, dads are usually one of the last things a toddler calls for.
Yeah, I know. That either comes across as bad news or good news for daddy.