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20 Funny parenting quotes that will make you laugh

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For our children, they might not know how to value the hard work we do for them, but at some point in their lives, they will eventually come to a point and understand our efforts for them.

We all can agree that parenting is no walk in the park, and it’s definitely something that will just be over within just a few years or so.

Parenting can even go wrong, and it might be as stressful as it was when you were raising your children at an early age. You have to correctly guide them to the right path for a good two decades in order for them to be independent.

You’ll have to sustain their necessities, discipline them, and most especially sacrifice a lot for them.

So, with all the hard work, and effort you just put through, I believe you deserve a break and enjoy yourself with these 20 funny parenting quotes that will make you laugh.

1. “Listen Carefully Kids, Because I’ll Probably Repeat This A Thousand Times Again”

Ah, this one’s a classic! Don’t you just find it irritating that you have to repeat yourself over, and over again simply because your children cannot remember anything you order? 

Everyone can relate to this at least once or a million times during the early years of parenthood. Sometimes it can still be applied to your adults! That goes to say that some things don’t change even if they are already grown up.

2. “Not This Again!”

Whether if it’s a mess in the house, broken furniture, and other common mistakes, 

Every tired parent has said this repeatedly throughout the mistakes of the entire childhood of your kids. There seems to be just no end to these repetitive silly mistakes these little buggers do!

3. “You Just Had A Snack!”

This one’s absolutely hilarious! Have you noticed your child going back and forth to the refrigerator, and just said out loud that he or she just had a snack?

Well, you are not alone! A lot of parents often say these, especially if your child is too obvious.

4. “Once You Sign On To Be A Mother, 24/7 Is The Only Shift They Offer”

By Jodi Picoult

This one goes out to the aspiring mothers out there. So, you might want to think twice or more than twice to come up with a decision.

It’s critical that you must be physically, mentally, and financially prepared.

5. “So I Stepped Away For Two Seconds…”

Then BAM! 

Everything went from a peaceful and quiet state to a chaotic household. Yes, believe it or not, this actually happens! Kids are unpredictable, and the best you could is just to scold them since disaster already struck.

6. “I Really Love My Kids For About Six Times A Day”

You cannot deny the fact that kids can definitely be a drag. It’s both tiring, stressful, joyful, and frustrating at the same time!

But of course, this quote is just for pure fun. Parents’ love for their children is unconditional.

7. “Leave them be – They Said”

They would be fine they said!

Let’s face it, it cannot be avoided that there are times that we need to leave our children for quite some time. Whether if it is for work or some errands. It’s just that when we leave our homes with our children, we always wish that the house is not on fire.

8. “If You’re Not Coming Home, Then Just Say It”

This is for parents who have teenagers. Adolescents tend to have regular sleepovers. Some say that they’ll just be out for a while but then they won’t come back. This is the reason why this quote exists among many parents.

9. “Wake Up Extra Early So That You Won’t Be Super Late”

Taking care of your children early in the morning will surely take time. From preparing their food, clothes, things, and dropping them at school. Just expect that you’ll always be late if you do not wake up at least 30 minutes before they do.

10. “Rumor Has It That You Can Achieve A Peaceful Sleep”

When you have a baby at home, it is said that you have a deep sleep once in a blue moon.

11. “The Quickest Way To Get A Child’s Attention Is To Sit Down”

By Lane Olinghouse

Ever noticed that the moment you relax, it is also the time the children will go crazy? Coincidence? Some think not.

12. “People Who Say They Sleep Like A Baby, Usually Don’t Have One”

By Leo Burke

A lot of parents envy those couples who don’t have a baby in their home for this very reason.

13. “A Baby Changes Your Dinner Party Conversation From Politics To Poops ”

By Maurice Johnston

Do you remember back then when you and your friends reminisce about high school memories and other fun ones Well, when you just became a parent, the hot topic for all of you now is how hassle your baby can be.

14. “A Two-Year-Old Is Kind Of Like Having A Blender, But You Don’t Have A Top For It”

By Jerry Seinfeld

This one’s self explanatory. It can be an absolute mess!

15. “Having One Child Makes You A Parent, Having Two You Are A Referee”

By David Frost

No matter what the gender, your young ones will fight a LOT of times. They become angels for one moment, and then turn into pro wrestlers the next second.

16. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home

By Phyllis Diller

At this point, it’s just you and your partner who will adjust to your child’s behavior just to get that good long rest.

17. “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own

By Doug Larson

You finally get to see your children get triumphed with parenting. It makes you remember those times when you were taking care of him or her back in the day.

18. “Never Have More Children Than You Have Car Windows”

By Erma Bombeck

The more the merrier doesn’t apply here. You should choose your numbers wisely, or your hair will turn white in a matter of days!

19. “Everybody Knows How To Raise Children, Except The People Who Have Them”

By P.J O’Rourke

EXACTLY!

Do you notice how those who have no kids seem like they know all about parenting? They talk like experts, and you as a parent are doing a horrible job at it. Why is that?

20. “Raising Kids is Part Joy and Part Guerilla Warfare”

By Ed Asner

It is indeed a rewarding feeling seeing your child grow, but it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes, your child can be a complete walking stressful creature that lives in your home. 

10 Cool Parenting Goals to Strive For in 2021

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Each year, we tend to think of new ways to parent our children that are best for them. The old ways are way boring – so try on these cool ones for you and your children to enjoy!

While others are busy focusing on their new year’s resolution, for parents, it’s new parenting goals for them. As we all know, as each year passes by, there are new ways to be a parent. 

Most of us would definitely avoid boomer parenting that our parents used to do with us before. We millennials grew up with a new mindset, new things, new agendas, and many more! That’s why when the time came to be a parent, it is most unlikely that we follow the old ways of parenting.

It is important to remember as well that these goals also serve as guidelines to raise our children on the right path because our kids could also turn out spoiled or with bad manners. This is the outcome of bad parenting, and this is very stressful.

So that you won’t wish you wore a condom that night, here are 10 cool parenting goals to strive for in 2021.

1. Be Best Friends With Your Children

Nothing’s more beautiful than being close with your young ones. This will be forever valued for you and your children, even when they are all grown up. The lack of interaction between you and your children could lead to behavioral disorders.

But there are still boundaries that must be often reminded to your children. Being best friends with your children can be easily abused, which is definitely not what we want.

2. Spend More Time With Them 

If you are too busy with work, business, or your hobbies, then expect that your children will not be as interactive you’d expect them to be. Spending time with your children is critical, especially if your children know how to value time.

Love, care, and time is the essence of a family. You cannot afford to be busy forever. In fact, in a certain country, when patients were asked on their deathbeds what they regret the most – their answer was that they spent more time at work instead of their family. 

3. Do Not Take Their Efforts For Granted

Children may show their efforts through chores, letters, and loads more. Never take for granted their ways of saying “thank you”. The moment you do not appreciate their efforts is the moment they’ll feel less valuable as well.

This could even lead to overthinking, anxiety, and worst of all depression. They are capable of feeling that way just because of the lack of appreciation for them. 

So, please appreciate their efforts because if they stop, you will certainly miss those efforts when they grow up.

4. Discipline Them The Right Way

Avoid shouting or yelling at them. Do your best to control your emotions if your children have done something wrong. A mistake for a child could be memorable, so much more if you leave them with harsh shouting.

Kids’ emotions are fragile. They are heavily dependent on you as a parent, and once they receive the wrong way of discipline, chances are it might affect his or her character.

5. Listen To One Another

This one is so simple yet so underrated as well.

A lot of parents only look at one side of the party, which is theirs. Do understand that your children have something to say too no matter what the situation is. Whether if it is an argument, a normal talk, or even choosing food!

They have opinions too, and you should hear them out. This way you can also correct them if they have the wrong mindset.

6. Show Your Love Through Actions

A perfect example of this is always there for them.

If you think buying your children what they want is your of showing love, it is not. It won’t even last long. Your children will come to a point that they will realize that you are just using objects to entertain them while you are busy.

Time is much more valuable than a PS5. PC, or any materialistic things. Take them out for trips, fishing, camping, or any activity at all. As long as you are with them, and all of you are happy. That’s what matters the most.

7. Be Consistent On Being Positive

Showing a positive attitude and character is contagious.

There’s even a high possibility that your child will subconsciously develop that within himself or herself. Remember that you are the role model at home. Being a bubbly person to your wife, children, and even the people around is highly contagious.

They will learn to see that there are a lot of benefits of being good without expecting something in return. Being a kind person is not forced, it’s natural.

They are what you are.

8. Be Open-Minded

Along with new parenting styles, there are new agendas as well for children. They most likely learn this from the internet since children can easily access different social media platforms.

Listen to what your children have got to say about his or her wonders, school, politics, or the world itself

You never know, you might be intrigued as well. 

9. Learn What They Are Interested In

Children will totally be happy if you are asking questions about what they are interested in. In fact, they will be more than happy to explain! You might even learn new things because of them.

You do know that children can be fascinating, right? Go ahead! Ask him why he loves exotic pets so much. 

This is a great way to bond as well. Your children will be more than happy if you support them as well! Now how is that not cool?

10. Never Hit Them

Under no circumstance should you hit your child! Aside from behavioral disorders, this can affect them mentally in many ways. This can also permanently scar them for life.

Hatred can easily be planted in their hearts if you keep hitting them. They hold a grudge against you that can even last forever.

So, if you do not want this to happen, then don’t even think about this.

5 Practical Ways to Start Teaching Your Preschooler How to Read

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Photo Credit Pixabay

Learning to read is built on a foundation of communication skills that your child starts to learn from birth.

And while most kids master this skill by age 7, the ages of 3-5 (preschooler years) are often called the stage where reading becomes crucial to development.

Being the child’s first teacher, you as a parent have the opportunity to give your kid a strong head-start in reading.

Regardless if you plan on sending them to grade school or are planning to homeschool your child, you can begin teaching them how to read with the right tools and tactics.

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Ready to Start Potty Training Your Child? A Starter Guide

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Potty training may seem scary at first, but it doesn’t have to be stressful for your child and neither for you. You may have heard a good deal of crazy stories from your relatives, friends, or other parents enough to give you the jitters. Or the opposite may be true – you rarely heard anything about this childhood rearing phase, and maybe that’s just because it’s one of the top taboo subjects for most moms.

However, once you get through all the hurdles of both opinions and silence out there, you’ll find that potty training can actually be a fun few days for the whole family. With everyone’s cooperation, it can even be treated as playtime while accomplishing this grand goal.

And once you’re armed enough with good information, you you can actually potty train your child in just a couple of days.

Potty Training is simple in concept but it may seem quite of a challenge to execute. If you’re a first-time parent, learning with a blank slate of experience may have its advantages. Now if you’re like me and have been around the block, you probably have your own set of opinions in place. It’s good to remind ourselves that while learning styles are different for every child, there are methods that remain tried and proven. And it is through these methods that you can build on and branch out to variations as you see fit for your own child.

Potty Training works best when both you and your child are ready, and equipping you with the knowledge in this resource is already half the job done.

So, shall we begin?

Is Your Child Ready To Ditch Diapers?

There is no precise “when” in terms of age to start potty training your child, however your child needs to be physically and emotionally ready to start potty training.

Before you go to far into the potty training process, you want to determine first if your child is truly ready, because even if you as a parent are ready, you need to make sure that your child is ready as this is often the biggest mistake parents make about potty training

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Here’s a quick checklist to give you an idea if your child is ready.

> Asking to be changed – Does your toddler ask to have her diaper changed when wet or soiled? Do you ever find her removing her used diaper? If you notice your child getting uncomfortable with wet diapers, then calling your attention or actively doing something about it, consider it one of the signs.

Fewer wet diapers – A combination of your kid urinating less often and experiencing consistent dryness over periods of time (couple of hours or after naps).

Bowel movements become predictable – Moms can often tell when their kid needs to poop, but one of the clear signs is when you start seeing a regular pattern of your child’s bowel movement, and particularly if your child asks or points to the toilet or their potty when they need to go.

Getting uncomfortable wearing diapers: If your child has the habit of bringing you their diaper and says “pee pee”, it’s most likely because your child doesn’t like being wet and probably a sign that your kid is good-to-go for the potty.

Undresses easily: If your child is having a hard time undressing, it may prove difficult when nature calls. Getting undressed and running around naked is normal toddler behavior. It’s their way of showing their personality but can also be a subtle hint that your child may be ready for potty training.

Can follow simple instructions:  A pre-requisite to potty training is how they understand and respond. If you find yourself having an easier time when you ask your child to pick up their toys, open their mouth (when eating), smile, or hug daddy, then your kid could be ready for the next level.

Once you’ve determined that your child is ready, and yourself as a parent are ready, it’s time to proceed confidently to the planning and preparation phase.

Preparing the Groundwork

First things first. Know when it’s the right time to potty train. Remember that while most children learn this art between the ages of 18 months and 3 years, some start earlier or later. Also, your little boy’s brain can’t distinguish what “being two” means, and neither do his private parts. So be careful that you don’t rush them out too early and too soon.

shutterstock_234525376An extra word on rushing your training. It seldom works and it often has negative consequences. This usually occurs because parents feel the pressure of keeping up with other parents who’ve had “success” with their kids at a younger age. Nothing can be more counter-productive though and studies have shown that going this route often leads to the process taking longer with more resistance on the child’s part, and stress in the parent’s. It’s best to trust your intuition when the time is right to take them out of their nappies. And you don’t have to rush as pre-potty preparations can also come as early as the tenth month. Also, almost every child becomes daytime independent in their fourth year, so in essence – everyone still arrives at the finish line.

PPP (Pre-Potty Preparations)

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but consistent preparations were made for the establishment of that grand city. The same thing applies to your future Superman or Wonderwoman. Toilet training doesn’t happen overnight but things can go smoother if one lays the foundations in place. You can also liken it to planting seeds and making sure the soil is fertile, giving it the best chance to naturally grow.

You’ll know all the hard work has paid off when your child responds well to the change from nappies, and you surprise yourself that the training phase went easier than expected.

Buy a potty and get him used to it.

Simpler is better. It doesn’t have to be expensive, brightly decorated with almost every cartoon character in
shutterstock_53658004 their era, or one that has a lot of accessories attached to it. The idea is to make him comfortable with the potty. You may want to write his name on it with coloured permanent markers to create a sense of ownership. If your child is too young, just get him acquainted with it every day and let him play with it if he wants to. Some parents allow their children to turn it into a hat or a battle station. You can also designate a specific place in the house where the potty is located. Make sure it’s easily seen.

Talk to him about the toilet

Whenever you have the chance, bring the topic up and explain the process as natural as possible. If say, when he hears you or someone use the flush, and he shows that look of undivided attention, tell him what just happened. “Mommy just went pee-pee using the toilet!” or “Uncle Ben went poo-poo!” Then proceed in telling how the stuff goes down, where it goes, and what you do next (wipe your bottom, wash your hands, and flush the handle). Throw in words of encouragement after your creative spill, such as how it’s going to be awesome when he gets bigger and wears pants like you or his dad and doesn’t have to use nappies anymore.

Be interactive and use facial expressions and body gestures as generously as possible. And don’t worry about looking silly or stupid! Your child doesn’t know what that means.

Use the power of imitation

It comes as no surprise that children learn best by imitation. Interestingly, the younger they are, the more powerful this learning style is. Things they pick up become easily and deeply ingrained in their subconscious. How to use this to benefit you both? Let him see you whenever you use the toilet. Show him the works. Then in an excited tone, tell him he can do the same when he’s a bigger kid. You can also use role play and have him use his potty even with his nappies on. Or if he has a favorite stuffed toy, involve it by asking if say, Mr. Elmo would like to poo as well. Then proceed acting it out together with Elmo.

If he’s got older siblings or cousins who are already potty trained, let him watch them as well. At first he’s just going to get curious, but chances are he would eventually want to mimic them as well. This is basically an introduction to peer pressure potty training. Soon, when he starts to have friends older than him, you would also do the same thing.

 

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Limit having a drink before bedtime

This simply makes it easier when it comes time to implement the rule of not allowing your child to take in any liquids two hours before bedtime once potty training officially starts.

Before we look at different methods, it’s important to understand that there is no right or wrong method.  Each situation is different and so is yours. You’ve got to choose the method which both your child and yourself as a parent feel comfortable to use.

Read books or watch DVDs

To help your child warm-up to the potty training process, choose a few good books and selected DVDs. Then allot time during the day to go through them. There are a lot of recommended books / media you can use in the marketplace. Some of the most commonly ones vouched by parents (due to the impact they have on their kids) are the following:

 

Pick a potty training method that suits you:

Infant Method:

Description – As the name suggests, parents use this method just weeks after childbirth. Notice how babies often exhibit the same behavior when they are hungry or tired. This kind of behavior is actually similar as well when they feel the urge to “pee” or “poo”. Dad or mom can pick up on these signs and use this to immediately start potty training.

 Pros

  • Child learns early
  • Bad habits (bowel and urine) can be prevented
  • Cost-effective
  • Environment-friendly
  • Prevents diaper rash

 Cons

  • Accidents – a lot of them
  • Takes a lot of time (parents need to be almost 24/7 monitoring their child’s behavior)


Parent-Led Method:

Description – A method for busy parents or parents who want to take things slowly, but still eventually arrive at the intended destination (potty success). There’s actually no series of steps to use here. It’s more of a general introduction to the whole thing and coming up with consistent practice sessions (“sit-and-pee”) until the nappies finally come of and underwear is officially introduced. Some parents use reward charts as well to track their child’s progress and make this process fun and enjoyable.

Pros

  • Perfect for parents with a busy schedule
  • Accidents rarely happen because the child is often kept in diapers
  • With consistent practice, it can become an established routine which will gradually build results

Cons

  • Child can get bored or restless and may not learn its purpose
  • Child may become dependent on the parent to go potty
  • It can take a lot of time for children with more challenging temperaments

 

Fast-Track Method:

Description – This method was first originally designed for children with special needs but has grown into popularity ever since it was made famous by Dr.Phil and Claire Haines and her website. It really is not confined to just one day as there is follow through involved. What does happen in that “big day” is focused teaching using a systematic approach. Parents allot a few hours for their child, accompanied by a potty and a potty training doll. They select one part of the house or clear an area free from clutter and other toys. Mom then walks her child through the whole process, using the doll by feeding it water and then showing how the doll eliminates them in the potty. She then asks her child to do the same thing with the doll. Once success is met with the role play, a few days of follow-through training on actual scenarios are made until the child masters it.

Pros

  • Structured and systematic
  • Fast results – normally within 2 weeks
  • Proven method devised by 2 physiologists and made famous by Dr.Phil

Cons

  • Looks simple, but not easy
  • Doesn’t allow much mistakes, due to its structure and system
  • A lot of planning and preparation involved
  • Requires immediate follow through to reinforce new learnings and patterns established

Bare-Bottom Method:

Description – Based on the premise that kids dislike wetting themselves, this method is vouched by Dr. Barton Schmidt, a pediatrics professor in Colorado, and involves stripping the child below the waist, then letting them run around naked and play as usual, and let the child figure out how to use the potty in the process. To make it more effective, parents initially block of 6 hours in a set day (or spend the weekend) and focus on facilitating their child’s ability to master the potty. Liquids are given in occasional bursts and the potty chair is always placed in a conspicuous place. Choosing and confining your child to a room or the backyard (better especially in summer) also helps and minimizes messes (which often happens).

It should be noted that this method is recommended by Dr. Schmidt for children above 30 months who have used the potty several times already with parental help, but have had difficulty making the transition from practice runs to potty independence. Although Schmidt reports a high success rate, this method hasn’t garnered much further studies and support.

Pros

  • Plain and simple
  • Minimal planning and preparation involved
  • Best done during the summer (when lesser clothes are needed)
  • Can be a fun and creative experience if kept with a good attitude

Cons

  • Not much scientific studies and support from experts
  • Can get messy
  • Can push your patience limit

 

Top 10 “Things” Toddlers Want

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You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or child psychology whiz to figure these things out. Simply put, you just need to be a mom… or a dad in this case. A couple of days ago I stumbled upon a hilarious chart in social media on What Toddlers Want, as related by Dad and Buried.

Here’s my ten best picks from that list, added with some spice and flavor.

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