20 Funny parenting quotes that will make you laugh


For our children, they might not know how to value the hard work we do for them, but at some point in their lives, they will eventually come to a point and understand our efforts for them.

We all can agree that parenting is no walk in the park, and it’s definitely something that will just be over within just a few years or so.

Parenting can even go wrong, and it might be as stressful as it was when you were raising your children at an early age. You have to correctly guide them to the right path for a good two decades in order for them to be independent.

You’ll have to sustain their necessities, discipline them, and most especially sacrifice a lot for them.

So, with all the hard work, and effort you just put through, I believe you deserve a break and enjoy yourself with these 20 funny parenting quotes that will make you laugh.

1. “Listen Carefully Kids, Because I’ll Probably Repeat This A Thousand Times Again”

Ah, this one’s a classic! Don’t you just find it irritating that you have to repeat yourself over, and over again simply because your children cannot remember anything you order? 

Everyone can relate to this at least once or a million times during the early years of parenthood. Sometimes it can still be applied to your adults! That goes to say that some things don’t change even if they are already grown up.

2. “Not This Again!”

Whether if it’s a mess in the house, broken furniture, and other common mistakes, 

Every tired parent has said this repeatedly throughout the mistakes of the entire childhood of your kids. There seems to be just no end to these repetitive silly mistakes these little buggers do!

3. “You Just Had A Snack!”

This one’s absolutely hilarious! Have you noticed your child going back and forth to the refrigerator, and just said out loud that he or she just had a snack?

Well, you are not alone! A lot of parents often say these, especially if your child is too obvious.

4. “Once You Sign On To Be A Mother, 24/7 Is The Only Shift They Offer”

By Jodi Picoult

This one goes out to the aspiring mothers out there. So, you might want to think twice or more than twice to come up with a decision.

It’s critical that you must be physically, mentally, and financially prepared.

5. “So I Stepped Away For Two Seconds…”

Then BAM! 

Everything went from a peaceful and quiet state to a chaotic household. Yes, believe it or not, this actually happens! Kids are unpredictable, and the best you could is just to scold them since disaster already struck.

6. “I Really Love My Kids For About Six Times A Day”

You cannot deny the fact that kids can definitely be a drag. It’s both tiring, stressful, joyful, and frustrating at the same time!

But of course, this quote is just for pure fun. Parents’ love for their children is unconditional.

7. “Leave them be – They Said”

They would be fine they said!

Let’s face it, it cannot be avoided that there are times that we need to leave our children for quite some time. Whether if it is for work or some errands. It’s just that when we leave our homes with our children, we always wish that the house is not on fire.

8. “If You’re Not Coming Home, Then Just Say It”

This is for parents who have teenagers. Adolescents tend to have regular sleepovers. Some say that they’ll just be out for a while but then they won’t come back. This is the reason why this quote exists among many parents.

9. “Wake Up Extra Early So That You Won’t Be Super Late”

Taking care of your children early in the morning will surely take time. From preparing their food, clothes, things, and dropping them at school. Just expect that you’ll always be late if you do not wake up at least 30 minutes before they do.

10. “Rumor Has It That You Can Achieve A Peaceful Sleep”

When you have a baby at home, it is said that you have a deep sleep once in a blue moon.

11. “The Quickest Way To Get A Child’s Attention Is To Sit Down”

By Lane Olinghouse

Ever noticed that the moment you relax, it is also the time the children will go crazy? Coincidence? Some think not.

12. “People Who Say They Sleep Like A Baby, Usually Don’t Have One”

By Leo Burke

A lot of parents envy those couples who don’t have a baby in their home for this very reason.

13. “A Baby Changes Your Dinner Party Conversation From Politics To Poops ”

By Maurice Johnston

Do you remember back then when you and your friends reminisce about high school memories and other fun ones Well, when you just became a parent, the hot topic for all of you now is how hassle your baby can be.

14. “A Two-Year-Old Is Kind Of Like Having A Blender, But You Don’t Have A Top For It”

By Jerry Seinfeld

This one’s self explanatory. It can be an absolute mess!

15. “Having One Child Makes You A Parent, Having Two You Are A Referee”

By David Frost

No matter what the gender, your young ones will fight a LOT of times. They become angels for one moment, and then turn into pro wrestlers the next second.

16. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home

By Phyllis Diller

At this point, it’s just you and your partner who will adjust to your child’s behavior just to get that good long rest.

17. “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own

By Doug Larson

You finally get to see your children get triumphed with parenting. It makes you remember those times when you were taking care of him or her back in the day.

18. “Never Have More Children Than You Have Car Windows”

By Erma Bombeck

The more the merrier doesn’t apply here. You should choose your numbers wisely, or your hair will turn white in a matter of days!

19. “Everybody Knows How To Raise Children, Except The People Who Have Them”

By P.J O’Rourke


Do you notice how those who have no kids seem like they know all about parenting? They talk like experts, and you as a parent are doing a horrible job at it. Why is that?

20. “Raising Kids is Part Joy and Part Guerilla Warfare”

By Ed Asner

It is indeed a rewarding feeling seeing your child grow, but it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes, your child can be a complete walking stressful creature that lives in your home. 


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